As some of you may know, over the past few weeks I’ve been working on my new novel, Nightingale. Ths subject matter is pretty tough and I’m conducting a lot of research for this story. And I do mean a lot! It means on some days when I’m writing, I actually spend more time looking for one tiny detail than I do writing the damn story. And quite frankly some days that gets me down. Previous novels have been completed and sent for editing in less time than I have already spent on this one–and I’m still only a third of the way through the story.
I know you’re going to be asking why I picked a topic I know nothing about, that that was a pretty idiotic move in the fisrt place, right? Well, I did know a little about the subject matter, and it is fascinating to me. There was just a whole lot more that I needed to know to make this story as authentic as it should be.
So today I needed a little pick me up, from all the research and the self doubts that start to creep in at this point. You know the ones; why the hell am I writing this story? It’s the worst thing I’ve ever written, how the hell did I get myeslf into this mess…those kind of self doubts. I had them when I wrote Ladyfish, I had them when I wrote Clean Slate, I have them now, and I’m damn sure I’ll have them again. So how do yo banish those pesky little nagging voices at the back of your head that say you can’t do this…try and find a voice that either confirms your worst fears or that tells you actually, you know what, you can do this.
So I was brave. And I do mean BRAVE…and I went and read some reviews of Ladyfish. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I have avoided these…like the plague. Yep, that little voice of insecurity…well it’s actually pretty damn huge. I could go into my opinions on the psychology behind all that–but I wouldn’t want to bore you to death. Lol!
Anyway, I started my search at Amazon, and you know what? I found seven reviews for Ladyfish. SEVEN. Four of them giving it FIVE stars and three giving it FOUR stars. All of them said really nice things about the book and that they couldn’t wait for the next one.
So right now I’m doing a little happy dance at my laptop, and beating that little voice of insecurity into place. I’m looking for something to hold/chain/lock it down with before it rears it’s ugly head again.
Relating to your insecurities 🙂 I have them too. Oh, and congrats on the reviews 🙂 I loved Ladyfish.
Thanks, Y. When’s your next one out, hon?
Great to read your blog here, Andrea. Just so you know, because of this blog, I’ve checked out your books over at BSB and read the excerpts and am now ready to order. Both Ladyfish and Clean Slate sound wonderful! Thanks for being brave both in reading your own reviews and doing all that research for your next book, Nightingale.. Sounds like I’ll have something else to look forward to reading soon. 🙂 Thanks!
Thank you, both for reading the blog and having faith enough to order. I hope you enjoy the stories, now and in the future. Andrea
I’m not an insecure person to a fault. That’s what my kid sister always tells me. I see everything I write as golden, regardless. I’ve been tweaking one particular story for 30 years. Yet each time I print it out, I think it’s perfection.
I look at life that way, too. I’m a silver-lining-in-every-cloud-kinda-person. And I think it’s key to me – and you – to just embrace your attitude, whether secure, or insecure. It’s how you approach things to get you to where you are. Arriving is what matters.
I know I get myself in a lot of trouble by barraging ahead as if the bridge isn’t out and I can swim in deeper water than a kiddie pool. The fact that it is and I can’t doesn’t even occur to me.
You, on the other hand, have stop gaps. Your insecurity is actually your safety net. Maybe if you think of it that way you’ll stop trying to fix it. Because, clearly, like it or not, it’s working for you.
Just a thought.
I love it! Thank you.
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